This past month, I traveled a lot — long drives from Canada to the U.S., flights with delays, and border crossings that tested every ounce of preparation. And at every turn, one thing showed up, uninvited but unavoidable: waiting.
There was waiting at security. More waiting at boarding. And of course in traffic. Waiting seemed to be everywhere!
And if I’m honest, waiting sometimes makes me restless. Like most achievers, I enjoy moving and taking the next step.
What we miss every time we resist waiting, letting frustration take over, is that we are feeding something without realizing it – the little monster called impatience.
It starts small – but the more you feed it, the bigger it grows, eating away at your calm. Over time, it consumes your health (with stress, anxiety, and sleepless nights), your clarity (clouding important decisions), and your ability to lead with impact.
So why is patience so hard to practice? And how do we stop feeding the impatience monster before it grows too much?
Why Patience Feels So Hard
Patience can feel challenging because it seems to push against:
- Our action-driven culture. The world praises and celebrates hustle and “what’s next?”. Sitting still feels like falling behind, or being unproductive (even lazy).
- A reward-hungry brain. Dopamine makes us crave the instant reward of quick responses, likes, and results, and keeping in motion.
- The illusion of control. Not acting feels like waiting for something to happen and giving up an element of control – even though pausing might be the best choice.
The impatience monster thrives on pressure, and the biggest lie it tells us is that speed equals success.
The Consequences of Impatience
Feeding impatience can feel good in the moment, but the long-term consequences are anything but good:
- Stress and health problems. Constant rushing elevates cortisol and damages your body over time, and can even lead to burn-out.
- Mistakes and rework. Hurrying skips details, leading to missing things that result in avoidable errors (that cost even more time to fix)
- Strained relationships. Impatience often shows up as irritability or distraction, leaving others feeling unheard – often leading to argument and fights.
Every time you give in to impatience, the ‘little monster’ grows stronger, with you missing out long-term.
The Benefits of Patience
The antidote to impatience isn’t rationalizing why you’re doing it (or pretending that you’re not); it’s learning to strengthen your patience muscle and using patience as an intentional tool.
Here’s what intentional patience can give you::
- Better decision-making. Pausing creates space for clarity and intentionality.
- Reduced stress. Patience calms your nervous system and helps you stay in flow.
- Increased productivity. Fewer errors mean faster progress in the long run.
- Stronger leadership. Showing up with patience in a relationship builds trust – the most essential foundation in a relationship.
Think of the Japanese tea ceremony. Every gesture is intentional, every pause purposeful. Patience isn’t about doing nothing — it’s about precision. It’s choosing not to feed the monster.
How to Practice Patience in Daily Life
You don’t need a five-step plan to practice patience. Instead, focus on the little choices you can make in the moment.
When you’re standing in line, for example, instead of telling yourself the time is wasted, enjoy the pause to take an extra breath and be grateful for the small reset.
When you feel the urge to react right away, start small and take an extra loooong exhale before hitting “send” on the email, or take a slight pause before jumping to the next activity.
Remind yourself that not everything that feels urgent really is. Sometimes the things that seem the biggest and most urgent need to wait so we can give our attention to the things that really matter the most.
And every time you choose patience — even in these tiny ways — you’re taking back control from impatience. You’rereminding yourself that YOU get to decide the pace, not the monster.
I’m curious — when do you feel impatience show up the most?
- In your work?
- With the people you love and care for?
- Or in those quiet moments with yourself?
Noticing it is the first step. And each time you choose not to feed it, you’re building a different kind of strength that actually helps you grow.
For me, I’ve learned to use those unexpected pauses as little resets. Sometimes I enjoy an extra, deliberate breath. Other times, I put on a playlist I keep ready for exactly those waiting moments. What used to feel like wasted time has become space I can actually enjoy.
Recent Comments